|
Life is in a lull. A slow gentle breeze kind of lull. It soothes you and makes the day a pleasant one but you always seem to be wondering, when does the drop begin?
My life is in a state of inactivity, i need some action. Some new friends, catch up with the old ones and just find a goal to this existence.
I wonder where all the dreams dissipated to? They certainly did not disappear, like a magic trick, an illusion, into the blue nowhere. I had them firmly in my grasp but time eroded that clasp and eased out all the hopes and ambitions, the excitement for life, the dreams of doing great things. In its place, it has left a hull. Much like the hermit crab who has abandoned its shell, searching for a new home to dwell in. A place that can contain it, nourish it and help it to grow.
It's not as if there are no happy days, they are plenty. Just that, I can't help but look over the horizon and wonder... what does life actually have in store for me... for us?
The journey forward must have the capacity for two and yet hold enough intrigue for this one, the quest for knowledge and the insatiable appetite for answers and the questions that come with it.
I don't want to be a realist so soon, and so I grasp at the loose ends of idealism. Where life is balanced, perfect and surreal.
Please don't wake me up, not yet... Give me time and I'll be big enough for you.Current Mood:  contemplative |
|
Oh no, the rain has ruined our hopes of jogging again. Everyday I wake up obscenely early only to face rainfall on my journey to east coast.
I guess this is what we call fate or rather the monsoon season.
On another matter, school was pretty boring yesterday. It was a lonely affair sitting alone listening to the teacher drone on about soft and hard OR and its beginnings in the second world war. Hope it'll get more interesting as time passes.
The bus ride home made me realise just how much I dislike public transport. The para para loving driver tapped the acelerator to a tempo that existed in his head causing frequent jerks and sudden hard stops. This was marginally bearable until a guy with the worst BO boarded. He was standing just in front of where I was sitting and the pungent smells soared into my nostrils.
The two makciks who were seated beside me quickly surrendered and made a fast escape to the back. And yet he was seemingly oblivious to the mini commotion arising and nonchalently raised his arm to lean against a pole. This action further intensified the 'free smells' to the point of nasuea. But he was not through with the torture yet as he raised the OTHER arm as he stretched, maximising the odour emitted.
This was really the breaking point and I silently begged for a respite before I uped the ante with some drama of my own.
Almost like a prayer being answered, he suddenly straightened and headed towards the back. There was a general sigh of relief all round as the tension ebbed away. Good luck makciks!
However, I was faced with another death defying moment aboard the next transit bus. Here, the driver was an F1 candidate, practicing his moves with his daytime job.
I bet this is common to many who are familiar with public transport. Upon standing up to press the bell, I was flung out of my seat into the walkway towards the window. Luckily I managed to grab onto a pole before I crashed thus saving me from all the embarrassment. The whole 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' movements truly astounded fellow passengers especially this guy who stared at me with his mouth open.
Amidst all this action, I ended up missing my stop and alighted at the next, as the stares bored down my back.
This pretty much sums up my dislike for public transport. I think a car would be very nice indeed. The harsh realities of the world outside is too much for me to bear. All the excitement is detrimental to my health.
Now, all I need to do, is get that license of mine!Current Mood:  irate |
|
School's starting again today and for some reason that makes me very happy. Actually, it doesn't but at least it gives me something to occupy my time with. All play and no work has indeed made me very bored.
Anyway, here I am waiting for Kevin, to zoom over to pick me up so that we can go jogging. A recent hobby that we picked up as a bid for something to do and also to keep fit, seeing that i have grown rather tubby from complacency. Because, not everyone can be like a friend I have, who can lose weight by sheer mental power even though she eats like she has a xiao long cong (small dragon worm) in her tummy.
I want to learn French and improve my English for that matter.
Helped out with a primary school for an excursion and realised that the standards of my English is festering. It took me a couple of reads to spot the grammar and punctuation errors and even then, I am not sure I got it right. How am I ever going to survive in the working world like that?
Oh no, the nice cooling 'perfect for jogging' weather has now became Rain.
I got my results back and it was within expectations other than Principles of Accounting which was far lower than expectations. I am trying really hard to get good grades and make good of my life. There have been so many lapses that are regrettable. But somehow, I feel that they were a good lesson to learn. After all, that's what being young is for, to make mistakes and not suffer the whole wrath of consequences.
I will strive harder this last year.
Hopefully, by the next time I post, there can be favourable news.
|
|
Alright! In about 5 hours i'll be headed to the airport for my mini birthday vacation/ independence trip/ romantic getaway. I felt that today would be a good time to break my writing drought and reflect on my life like most people do.
I can't help but feel the pinch as I witness the increase in numbers of my age. It feels like my youth is slowly but surely leaking away from me into the past, forever out of reach. I remember the days when I anticipated the arrival of the twenties, willing it to arrive almost immediately....until, it actually did.
I had fantasied a world of immense freedom and change, where I would cross over the threshold and become an adult. Oh how I loved the sound of that. Young adult. Independent and raring to go. Boundless energy with great ambitions.
But then, even as the clock ticked past midnight, I sat and felt exactly the same way as 11.59. I was disappointed to say the least. My false hopes dashed and numbed my excitement. I was now a young adult who was just as clueless about life as when I was a heady teenager. Except now, I did not have youth to hide my indecisiveness.
Where were my ambitions, my burning passion for life, to make a difference in the world. To become someone significant, someone who would be remembered in the history books.
I was overcome with a fear, the fear of falling into place, conforming and just accepting my place. A tool in the well oiled mechanisms of society.
And I have realised that with freedom and independence, comes a responsibility, a risky adventure where every action must be carefully thought out...
Anyway, my point is, I feel age creeping up onto me, even though I do not feel any different from when i was 19. The truth is I am already 23 and it's really freaking me out!!!
I might just have to wait till 30 before I find myself!
I guess...Happy Birthdays are in order.
HAPPY 23RD (19TH) BIRTHDAY
On a sidenote...I'm really excited about my trip! Haha...so suaku!
|
|
I went for a play today with kevin, it was about annabel chong/ grace quek, the title of which reflected how many times she had sex.
Overall, it was interesting and unique howver, i felt that the emotional depth wasn't enough to captivate the audience and pull us in. But i rule it to the design of the set where we were only able to see the actors' faces periodically. To elaborate, the stage was in the center of the theatre, flanked by the audience on the front and back. So when they were facing side A, their back was towards side B.
Anyway, I like amy cheng. She's hot and so likable. I still remember her from the 'growing up' days. It is by far the best english drama of channel 5. I didn't fancy triple 9 and who could ever forget VR man....
Then we went for dinner at Chicago's Steakhouse in Cine. Our dinner consisted of lasagna(him), two 7 ounce beef steaks(me), calamari, hot wings-drumsticks and a drink each. By the end of the meal, we were completely stuffed but a walk to the end of Orchard( Man Utd Shop) and back easily solved that.
Next was drinks at Chijmes-Father Flanagan. Yummy mango daiquiri and a pint of guiness for the MAN and that ended our date-night out. =)
I like nights like this very much, it's a great way to unwind after continuous full days at school and also good quality time spent with him. He thought i was sexy( haha..is that too much info?) and i thought he looked sharp and suave. It's nice to still be appreciated when you've been in a relationship for some time.
But i reckon we have been gaining some extra weight and although it's more to love.. heh heh.. but it's not too good health and aesthetic wise. But we're working on that... so here's to fitness!!!
Oh yes, on another note, Patsy ( song bo buay) has the amazing ability to eat peanuts by deshelling them, eating the juicy bits and leaving the husks. AMAZING! She'll even counter check after to see whether she got them all. A new abiltity everyday. haha
So...being happy is a result from all these incidents. I am grateful and delighted for all the little things in my life. And also for having friends who will read my crap ( well some of it) from time to time.
Thank you for updating, however sporadic it may be. This is our little way of expressing our thoughts and keeping in contact with one another. =)
-staciekatrina
p.s i really need new shoes
p.p.s my tummy made a loud rumble during the play and as luck would have it on friday the 13th, during one of the silent, impactful moments. |
| » the screech...a BANG and all the stress |
|---|
I witnessed an accident earlier.
The entire thing...screeeeching included.
It was traumatising to say the least.
I was eating at East Coast Minced meat noodles, the one beside HK cafe when i heard a screech, thus drawing my attention to the road behind me. I fully expected to hear a shriek come to a stop followed by horning like every other time. But instead, i saw the lorry crashing into a SUV with a resounding bang.
In that moment, time seemed to move in slow motion as the the windscreen shattered upon impact scattering all over. the ensuing silence felt deafening in contrast as the vehicles skidded to a stop. The lorry first followed by the car after drifting along the stretch of the road, spinning from each side of the pavement like a pinball until it too finally stopped at a side.
Initially, i thought that it could not be as bad as it appeared if the driver could still manuveur his way to the side, but Kevin told me that the car was not being driven but rather spinning from the impact.
The right door of the lorry was thrust open and we waited in anxiety to see the driver come out, stunned as we were by the flow of events. After a stagnant pause, he emerged and appeared to be unhurt even though he seemed a little shaken. After pacing around to get his bearings, he hurriedly headed towards the car.
As the car was blocked from view by the trees and other vehicles, i was mercifully spared other graphic details.
By this time, the patrons of the two eateries were in a frenzy to get to the car, some to offer help, some to see what was going on and also those who wanted the 4D numbers.
I had lost my appetite and was extremely worried for the driver in the car thus directing a barrage of questions to Kevin and offering silent prayers up above.
The ambulance and civil defence came shortly after, followed by a woman in a taxi who we believe is the wife of the driver. Her frantic dash to the car made my throat tighten and heart pulsate as i could empathise with her emotions knowing that this scenario could happen to anyone.
I still vividly remember the look of pain on the driver's face as we drove past. I pray with all my heart that he would be okay.
Please be aware of your surroundings and remember to wear that seatbelt at all times regardless of the length of journey.
First thing when you enter...SEATBELT!!
And check your blindspots before you move off...
-stacie.
Apr. 5th, 2007 @ 12:42 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
|
So bored in school now, sociology is such a wordy subject to learn and the afternoon heat is not helping me concentrate. Am feeling lethargic and so very sleepy!
We went for dinner yesterday at this really secluded place near SIM, Sakura. It served a wide variety of food for only 26 dollars, howver the layout of the place was rather weird. There were two floors with the spread ranging from japanese cusine, teppanyaki, soup and satay. However, given the two floors layout, we had to climb up and down to get the food desired. It goes to show that there is always a catch even when it seems like you have managed to get a good bargain. The quality of the food is not fantastic though so it would only be an ideal location if the idea is to stuff your faces. Speaking of which, the spectacles i got seem to be acting up. Whenever i wear them in the nights, it seems like I have horrible blurry vision. Initially i thought that my eyesight might have deteriorated however this is not the case when i put on my contacts.
I feel cheated by the shop. Sigh.. there is a long story behind that.
Seems like I need to do some investigative research before going back to the shop to make a fuss. I am such a non pro argumentative person that the thought of having to question others makes me uncomfortable... and sian.
Okay lunch time now.
-staciekatrina
Mar. 31st, 2007 @ 12:44 pm
|
| » the day my hair swished |
|---|
I think I'm a spendthrift.
Funny how they put spend and thrift in a word when it has totally opposite meanings on its own. Guess that's the absurd logic of the english language.
I will do a recap of my expenditure in an attempt to scare myself into sealing my wallet shut.
- Spectacles - $400
- Rebonding of hair - $180
- Presents - $150
Amazing isn't it...Items that can be counted on a hand amounting to close to a $1000. Granted that i had subsidies for my purchases still doesn't discount the fact that i managed to spend so much. Urgh...
I have to desperately save up now....
On the other hand, i am very pleased with my final decision to go for straightening of the tresses. It was something i wanted to do for quite some time now. Went with hanito who is a regular straightener at the salon. We hoped that discounts were in order but her hairdresser had recently quit. Sigh...
So we paid normal prices, more for me since my hair was in such a bad condition. The entire process lasted close to 4 hours with lotsa of treatments, chemicals and washing.
I took totally different now la.
But i like the way my hair swishes.. although i cannot get over the fact of not being able to wash it for 2 days.
haha.. will post some pictures when i manage some decent shots!
Cheerios
-staciekatrina
Mar. 30th, 2007 @ 01:22 am
|
| » movies and stories |
|---|
Music and Lyrics rock la! I love Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore and the songs they sing. It's simple but somehow managing to strike a chord with my romantic side. The show overall felt like a fluffy lalala romance, nothing to exclaim over but I loved it!
My sister's keeper is the recent book that has captivated me with it's intriguing story line and topic. The line between what's right and wrong is clearly not as defined as we perceive it to be. Especially when the decision involves the lives of people you love. The sacrifices, the compromises and the decisions all have a drastic effect on the outcome. You have to read this book, it will set you thinking because i certainly could not bear to lift my eyes of it. However, it does tend to have a sombre effect so if you are in need for some fluffy cheery story, do NOT read this book.
I had a fight with a cockroach today. It was mean and brown and big like how all cockroaches are. Peeped at me in the loo with those fidgetive feelers. I could sense it strategising its attack on how to maximise a scare out of me. ta-dom ta-dom ta-dom....
I tried to pretend that we were on good terms, hoping that if i did not provoke it, it would not come charging at me. But it still did. I bet it got a good laugh watching me make a fool of myself, screaming and hopping.
I hate cockroaches. yuerk.
Patsy Song Bo Buay is getting old. Sigh. She has white fuzz on her face and squinty eyes and a desire to just lazy and snooze the day away. I just wanna say I love her many many.
Oh no, better go sleep, long day out tomorrow.
Mar. 17th, 2007 @ 06:14 am
|
| » peekaboo! |
|---|
Hey! I've finally uploaded some pictures onto livejournal after living through its entire existence being faceless.
It's so much cooler and simpler as compared to the previous requirements. Me approve!
Anyway, I'm glad that my friends have all been updating somewhat constantly and have not ended up being a slacker like me. That aside, I realise that one of the main reasons why i do not update anymore is that i hate the look of my page. The layout I can come out with is truly dismal and boring, makes me depressed everytime I look at it. I have tried to change it but somehow i get too lazy or bored or well... lazy mostly.
Another reason is probably my nickname/username, i think it is the embarrassing icon of my past, back from the past to haunt me, goading me at my assumed coolness when i thought i had when i created the word. Seriously, we should leave those moments back in the days where it belongs however, mine is a mistake i have to pay to change...literally. I can feel it sneering at it everytime i type g-e-e-z-i-e to login. shudders.
Besides, i have actually realised the meaning behind the phrase move with the times or get left behind. Oh, yeah, there is no actual such phrase, I just made that up along with all the nonsensical impromtu sentences i make up during my examinations. They did emphasize on using your own words but i guess creating new theories doesn't really equate to paraphrasing.
I digress... where was i? Oh yes, all the links and quishy functions...I feel like a relic, techno noob.
Okay, most most most importantly....my entries bore me. I have to face being boring everytime i update. Putting myself into a slump with my awkward sentences, bad grammar, lousy punctuation and lame jokes.
Who's laughing....? Maybe, only me!
I love me.
P.s Too influenced by this awesome show i am watching now... catch it if you can... how i met your mother, it is a comedy sitcom. In a weird way, I so happen to be thinking like the characters thus resulting in really weird writing. Or maybe, it could be just me! shrugs.....Lengendary!
Mar. 9th, 2007 @ 04:19 am
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
geezie's journal
